Ten Things about Group Captain Sachin Tendulkar


Source: AFP

On September 3, 2010, Indian batting ace, Sachin Tendulkar was awarded the honorary rank of group captain by the chief of the Indian Air Force (IAF) for his contribution to cricket. Instead of an honorary award, what if he really was a group captain in the IAF?

1.  Tendulkar will be the first airman to fly 200 sorties in one day. Everybody knew from the day he entered the Indian air force and started flying them planes, he was gonna be the one to break the 200 barrier. Some thought this day might never happen and have to live with the fact that a Pakistani group captain had the record for the most number of sorties in a day.

2. When Tendulkar enters the peak of his prowess as a true dog fight legend, his wingmen would be extremely terrible. They would be so inept that they can’t even do the one job that is asked of them — hold one end up with some fake firefight and pretend to shoot at the enemy here and there.

3. For the majority of his flying career, he would be saddled with hand me down jets from the previous era which malfunction constantly with failures at the most inopportune times. During an epic battle against an archenemy, he would get 136 kills over the skies of Chennai and leave the rest of the squadron to shoot down just 17 more, as his back engine was fouling up but alas, that wouldn’t happen!

4. In the “Battle of the Hero Cup”, when senior and more experienced fighter pilots like Devil Kap were dithering over whether they could deal the deciding blow, Young Tendulkar would volunteer to take control and launch in to a certain suicide mission, only to emerge victorious.

5. While performing in an air show at his local base, he will be booed by the Bomb(ay)er crew.

6. In the middle of a quadrennial world air show, he would have to retreat to home base to take care of some personal stuff. He would return to set the sky ablaze but only for the rest of the squadron to fuck it all up during the one day he was away.

7.  Tendulkar will be recognized by the best damned fighter pilot that ever lived, who had a 99.94% kill rate, as the only one that flew the machine like him.

8. When everybody started thinking he has lost his “Top Gun” ways of destroying opposition and wonders loudly that it is time for him to hang it up, he will resurface as the “most calculating killer” and continue on.  Less Risk, More Kills.

9. He will fly planes through sandstorms and pull off unbelievable maneuvers against the best air force in the world, so much so that the enemies start having nightmares about him.

10. An Air force documentation company would like to record the exploits with a little bit of Tendulkar in it.

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7 responses to “Ten Things about Group Captain Sachin Tendulkar

  1. Might wanna change it to Battle of the Hero Cup :)

  2. arch-enemies would declare that group captain sachin has never really won a war, and his highest kill rates came in lost battles. arch-enemies would then be reminded of defeat to group captain gan-ugly, upon which point arch-enemies would begin weeping.

    • @KK — Hahaha.. SRT has performed enough kills in wins but people tend to remember only the wars he lost :) But then SRT was never cut out to be a group captain, he is best utilized as the Top Gun.

  3. correction…
    started flying “them” planes…. doesnt look right…

  4. Sachin Tendulkar is really a right choice to be a Group Captain of Air Force…

  5. Tendulkar is really hero of air force captain

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